A post script on some of the alcoholic vicissitudes of life by Swaffield Pike…
Having trawled the top shelves of many bars, pubs and clubs over some considerable time, I have discovered both the joys and the calamities of far-flung and exotic alcoholic preparations from nearly every country known to man.
Dusty, neglected bottles have a certain mystique and curiosity value (especially when you are plastered) but one always wonders if they been left untouched since Methuselah was a child for a reason? My father had quite a proud collection and as an adolescent I recall trying a green bottle of what was simply labelled ‘Bismarck Schnapps’ purely out of curiosity, only to find that it induced vomiting rather quickly.
I am not sure what ever happened to it, although I have a feeling the fire may have been given some encouragement to light one day using the contents.
This aside (and whilst there are often monsters lurking), there are frequently handled beauties as well. One such delight is the Brazilian spirit, Cachaça. I was introduced to this through a family connection and whilst it is never high on my list of drinks to consume it does have a certain fondness in my affections. Initially I was disturbed by anything which is labelled as ‘cane spirit’ as I recall that when the oil crisis hit the South Americas in the late 1970s, many countries started distilling what they could in to ethanol to run their cars. On the basis of various drinks I have tried, I think some of it may have surreptitiously seeped in to the consumer market at some point but not this one (the same could be said of some varieties of rustic Calvados). Cachaça is the basis for Brazil’s national cocktail, the Caipirinha and I recommend you give it a go although sourcing the principal ingredient may prove tricky. Take a tumbler and add two teaspoons of sugar and some segments of lime and mash them together for a while. In Brazil this can take some time so allow yourself a beer when ordering as you will not be drinking it instantly. Once muddled, fill the glass with ice and top up with Cachaça, and nothing else apart from a sugar crust around the rim, if you like that sort of thing. Your taste will dictate whether you require more lime or more sugar and that is for you to experiment with once you have got to grips with the bendy legs and loss of consciousness that will inevitably ensue. Of course, lime is supposed to be the ‘National Caipirinha’ although when in the Foz de Iguasu a couple of years ago I found a splendid Churrascaria who varied the fruit with good effect – morango (strawberry), abacaxi (pineapple) and toranja (grapefruit) are all worthy companions. Again, this is not a drink for the faint hearted. But it does go down very well on a lazy, hot afternoon when you have nothing to do except for being idle or gently dozing in a chair. If you are in Rio and can blag your way in to the Copacobana Palace Hotel, I can recommend a poolside seat for your glass. I stumbled in there claiming to have just got in from Heathrow and that the airport taxi driver had brought me to their doors as it was, in his opinion, the best Caipirinha in town. This was of course utter nonsense as I had been in the city for a week. However, as my timing was perfectly synchronised with the BA arrivals schedule, not an eyebrow was raised. That was until I started dancing down the stairs on the way home, some hours later.
Illustration by Lawrence Elwick
